Behind the red carpets and film sets, Jyotika and Suriya have a very ordinary family rhythm that revolves around two school-going children. The actress has shared how she and her husband balance not only demanding careers but also the daily business of raising their kids, and their approach is refreshingly simple: share the load, and make sure there’s always at least one parent with the children. In a recent interview, she revealed which parent takes charge of the school-related tasks, and it’s a detail many parents will recognise. It also opens up a bigger conversation about the invisible work of parenting, and what happens when fathers take it on.
5 Oct 2026 | 12:06
Parents, when your child refuses to greet relatives, do you make them say hello or respect their choice?
The school emails, handled
Jyotika said their children are in school in Mumbai and that all the school-related responsibilities are handled by Suriya. The school sends at least two emails a day, covering everything from sports and picnics to studies, and he’s the one who keeps on top of them. The couple’s children are Diya, born in 2007, and Dev, born in 2010. Jyotika also described Suriya as an excellent father for several reasons, with this being one of them.
“There’s always one of us with the kids”
It isn’t only about emails. In earlier interviews, Jyotika explained that the two coordinate their schedules so that one of them is always available for the children. In an interview with ParentCircle, she said Suriya tries not to schedule shoots on Sundays, attends important school events, and has never missed their sports days or annual days. She has also joked about their parenting style, saying she’s the one with the rulebook while he’s the “good” parent. It’s a partnership built on planning, and a bit of humour.
What “invisible work” actually means
The mental load, or cognitive labour, is the thinking behind the doing. Sociologist Allison Daminger, in a 2019 study in the American Sociological Review, described it as four activities: anticipating needs, identifying options, deciding among them and monitoring the results. School emails are a perfect example. Someone has to read them, remember the picnic date, spot the form that needs signing, and notice the exam timetable. None of it takes long on its own, but together it adds up to a constant background hum in the mind.
Why it matters
This work often falls unevenly. In interviews with couples, Daminger found that in about 80% of the different-sex couples she spoke to, women took on most of the cognitive labour. Research from the University of Bath likewise suggested mothers handle roughly 71% of household mental load tasks. A 2025 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found relationship satisfaction was highest when partners shared cognitive housework equally, possibly because it lightens one parent’s burden and makes the hidden work more visible and valued.Ownership, not “helping”There’s a difference between helping and owning. Helping means waiting to be told what to do, which leaves the other parent still carrying the planning. Owning means noticing the task, deciding what’s needed and following it through from start to finish. When a father takes full charge of an area like school communication, his partner can truly switch off from it. That’s where the change in family dynamics happens: less nagging, less resentment, and more trust that things are being looked after.
What it means for children
Children benefit too. Reviews of research on father involvement link greater involvement with healthier development in children, including cognitive, social and behavioural outcomes. When kids see both parents handling the practical details of their lives, they also learn that caring is a shared job. It shapes how they’ll think about partnership and responsibility when they grow up, and that may be the most lasting gift of all.
How any family can start
You don’t need celebrity schedules to try this. Pick a few areas to hand over completely, such as school, doctor visits or birthday planning. Share a calendar, and decide who monitors each email inbox. Resist the urge to micromanage once a task is handed over, since doing it differently isn’t doing it wrong. Check in every few weeks to see how it feels. Small changes like these can make a home feel calmer, and both parents feel appreciated.
