At 14, *Xiaomei, a high-performing student from a coastal province in China, decided to overdose on cough medication.
She wanted to impress an older boy who told her it would help her relax. The tablets were usually only available with a doctor’s prescription, but she managed to buy them online.
At first she found that they made her a bit dizzy. But she was soon hooked to the slightly numb sensation, which, to her, felt like a brief respite from the pressure of looming exams. When taken in large doses, the drug can cause serious side effects, including hallucinations and impaired coordination.
Eventually she tried other medication recommended to her on chat groups. Some were for pain or epileptic seizures. Sometimes she would take five tablets. Other times she would try more than 10 to feel the effects of different drugs.
For two years, she took large quantities of various prescription drugs. None of them were prescribed to her or anyone in her family. She bought them all on the internet.
“When I felt too much pressure from my studies, or I didn’t do well at exams, or even when I quarrelled with my parents, I would take these drugs,” she told the BBC. “I was running away from reality.”
The BBC has heard similar stories from dozens of Chinese teenagers in chat rooms across various social media platforms. Nearly every one of them seemed to be escaping the same thing: pressure. They were doing that by chasing what is being described as a “pharmaceutical high”.
One girl shared a voice note after taking large doses of a neuropathic pain drug. Her words were slurred and hard to comprehend: “I feel my body doesn’t belong to me. I’m so dizzy.”
“Just sleep,” comes the advice. “You will be fine tomorrow.”
One boy offered to use his father’s old prescription to fake a new one for the same drug.
Some offered tips: “If you want to hallucinate, you can just buy… it’s not been controlled yet,” says one user, suggesting a drug used by people with Parkinson’s to control tremors. In excessive doses it can cause confusion or even delirium.
“Which keyword should I use to search for it on online platforms,” another user asks.
